𝓘'𝓶 𝓵𝓸𝓼𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓰𝓻𝓲𝓹 𝓸𝓯 𝔀𝓱𝓸 𝓘 𝓽𝓱𝓸𝓾𝓰𝓱𝓽 𝓘 𝔀𝓪𝓼.

 What if I can't be all that you need me to be? What if all this time I thought I was healing but this wound just dug itself deeper and deeper into my soul and I have not yet noticed the depths in which it goes. 

Is this how am I going to be from now on? Am I going to wake up and look in the mirror just to have a stranger stare back at me? Everytime I think I reach a certain level of awareness of who I am I seem to instantly fall back on the bottom where there is really nothing for me to figure out anymore. Sometimes, I feel like I am too tired to even try to climb the rope back up, yet I feel life is just rushing through my body and time just never stops ticking, making every second feel as if I've lost a lifetime of possibilities. 

 Ah, I pray to the stars above to pause the process of this Hell just for a little bit. Please, let me breath a little. Please, let me recollect my thoughts and feelings because everything seems like it's too overwhelming for me right now and I just can't handle so much thrown at me at once.

Do I need to scream so loud until my voice runs out in order to make myself heard?

Do I need to dig my fingernails deep into my skin and rip it apart to show you my pain?

Do I need to bleed myself dry in order to show you just how exhausted I have became?

 I'm losing grip of who I thought I was, I'm losing myself everyday almost as often as I lose material things. Perhaps, I've become so little and detached of myself that I am no longer holding the grip tightly of my own hand. I've let go but not of the things that I needed, I've let go of myself.